i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize