garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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