Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
