Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
