i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
