When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
