dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize