She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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