dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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