So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
