You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
