i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
