Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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