forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and she was petting her beer can
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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