I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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