Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize