And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
