We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
