Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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