ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
God, I missed his penis.
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