I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
