Cold hands, warm shart.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
