pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
