My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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