I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
