im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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