He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
