Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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