i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
