Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
tell me about the fingering
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