Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
