She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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