Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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