Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
