great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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