Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
