he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize