He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
