White coat. Heels.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Randomize
