saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Enjoy the penises
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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