I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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