I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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