I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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