i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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