Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize