This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
