I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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