yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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