Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize