I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
