She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
