Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
