Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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