I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize