it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
