So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
