fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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