hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
