Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she pinky promised me she was 18
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
