with your own penis?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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