I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
